Protection Comes At A Price
by Alik22
Summary: How much is Ray willing to pay to protect the one he loves? [Reela]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own Nothing which is a rather sad thought : (

Dedication: This is for Ella because she is lovely and she managed to find the clip of this scene for me so that I could get the words down so I could stay true to the show, well for this chapter anyway the next few are all in my imagination….

_italic _indicates thought

The rating is T because i thought i'd better be on the safe side because i'm completely new to the whole concept of posting stories.

Oh and i no this is basically me retelling the last scene from "Strange Bedfellows" but i had to set the scene before launcing into my proper story. so enjoy. the story will develop i promise.

And the reason i'm typing all these really rambling notes is because i'm actually terrified that no one will be bothered to read it.

* * *

Ray walked into the apartment just as Neela was packing a bag.

"Yo, Neela!" he called out.

"I'm in here." She answered.

"I brought you a peace offering, extra anchovies, and I promise no more dirty dishes, ok?"

"I'm… erm… going to stay at Abby's for a while, she's at Luka's most of the time so…"

Ray walked towards the open door of her bedroom,

"So are you moving out, like tonight?" he said as he leaned against the door frame, running his fingers through his hair, he asked, "can't you at least wait until you find a new place?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Neela answered as she turned and faced Ray.

He looked down at his feet and muttered,

"Yeah," and letting out a sigh added, "You're probably right."

As Neela slung her bag over her shoulder, Ray tried to make the situation slightly less heart-breaking and said,

"Hey, all good things, right?" she stared at him and him at her, "We had a lot of fun." she gave him a smile and went to retrieve a shirt from her bed.

"Need a hand with anything? Some pizza?" Ray added.

"No I'd better just get going," she said as she passed him in the door way she handed him his shirt.

He just smiled and said, "You know I've being looking for this for like a month!"

She smiled "Yeah, I rather liked sleeping in it."

He leaned in to hug her but she just moved from the doorway and Ray was left standing there as she walked out of the apartment.

Neela handed her bags and boxes to the cab driver, who loaded them into the boot of the cab.

"Neela!" Ray called out to her; she turned her head away from him.

"Just, just wait one second, please!" Ray stood in front of her; he shook his head in dismay and shuffled his feet on the ground, "I wish I didn't feel how I feel," he looked at his feet and as he looked up he said, "But you, you're the best friend I've ever had."

She couldn't meet his gaze.

"Here, keep this." He gently pushed the shirt towards her; she took one more look at him and then stepped into the cab, leaving Ray standing on the pavement watching as she drove away.

He turned to go back to the apartment lifting the shirt to his face, breathing in her soft scent trying to hang on to the memories, he whispered,

"Please don't leave me." but he knew that he was too late, he opened the door to the now empty apartment, he stared down at the pizza he had brought her. It was getting cold.

"Don't leave me."

* * *

yep so there u have the first chapter of my first fic. hope u all like it and i no that the title and summary don't make much sence at the moment but i promise if u stick this story out until the end, it will all be revealed to you.

please R&R coz i will be very sad if no one does. : (

love to everyone

xoxoxoxo


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, thanks to every one who reveiwed, it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to know people like the things i write. lol

So same thing applys as in chapter 1 _italics _indicate thought , ENJOY! xoxoxox

* * *

He couldn't avoid her forever, he knew that but he just needed some time to get his head around what had happened. He had taken some time off work as he was "sick" but he knew that Weaver would only believe that for a couple of days and he would have to see her at work eventually.

Ray was slumped on the sofa watching daytime TV when there was a knock at the door. He dragged himself up from his seating position and shuffled over to the door. He peered through the viewer. _Shit!_ It was Neela. Just he was about to open the door he realised, in horror that he didn't look the slightest bit ill.

He walked away from the door trying to think of what he could do.

"Ray, open the damn door, I know you're in there!" came the voice from behind the door

Shit! Think Ray, think. Ah ha got it! He tousled his hair so it stuck up in all directions and, grabbing a blanket off the sofa, he wrapped it around himself. As he walked back to the door he let out a pathetic fake cough and leaned forward to reach the doorknob.

"Hey Neela, how are you?" Ray said in a croaky voice.

"God Ray, you don't look ill but you sound awful."

Ray smiled to himself; he may have just gotten away with skiving work.

"Erm, is there anything I could help you with?" he said as she stepped into her old apartment.

"Yeah, sorry, I came to pick up the rest of my stuff to take to Abby's." she said.

"Oh." was the simple reply, and with that, Ray went and took up his place again on the sofa.

"Aren't you going to help me?" Neela questioned.

W_ell you didn't need any help the other night_, Ray thought irritably, but swallowing his pride, he got up, and letting out yet another pathetic cough, he picked up one of Neela's boxes.

Ray was back and was sitting on the sofa engrossed in strumming cords on his guitar. His mind wandered back to when Neela was there. They had hardly said one word to each other. He wished it could go back to the way things were, but he knew that they could never go back. There was no going back. The past was in the past, he knew that. Yes Ray knew that, but that didn't mean he had to like it, and he most certainly didn't. What scared him most was the fact that he would have to rely on his memories, he would never be able to relive them properly; he could only do that in his head. With the rest of his life stretched out before him, it was in that moment that Ray realised that he had all the time in the world to think about what had been and what could have been. What a great life he was going to have.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reveiwed especially dshortklutz and butterflyswest who have reveiwed both chapters, thank you!.

And of course i would like to thank Ella for reveiwing but that is kinda her job as this story is dedicated to her and she sat there and watched me write it to make sure it would actually happen!

Love to everyone

xoxoxoxox

* * *

Neela grabbed some charts and headed in the direction of trauma 3, just as Ray sauntered into the ER. He looked at her and a smilespread across his face but she just looked away and carried on walking. 

_Why did you do that? He was only being friendly; you could have at least smiled back._ Neela thought to herself. She was desperate for the friendship that she and Ray shared to be back to the way it used to be, but she knew that if they carried on living together, their friendship could, and most probably would, have become something much more. She couldn't let thoughts of Ray cloud her mind; she was married to Michael, and that was that.

She couldn't deny the feelings she had for Ray but she could push them away, she could push him away, but she knew Ray, and because of this, she knew he wouldn't give up on her. She had to get him to leave her alone. She couldn't handle the guilt that would plague her if anything happened between them because she loved Michael more than anything. _"Well, not quite.  
You don't love him as much as you love Ray" _a small voice muttered at the back of her unconscious mind.

* * *

Ray stood in the ER feeling utterly dejected, _Why didn't she smile back? Does she hate me that much? No, she can't hate you; she wouldn't have lived with your mess if she hated you._ His brain seemed to be on over drive as he thought up different conspiracies about why Neela had ignored his attempt at a truce. 

He walked into the lounge to dump his bag and coat, and there on the sofa, sat Neela. Her head lolled back, as she took deep breaths in and out. Trying to gather her thoughts before re-entering the ER to face everyone, and Ray.

Becoming aware that someone had just entered, Neela snapped her head up. Coming face to face with the one person she couldn't handle being alone with right now. She got up to leave just to be pulled back by the arm and a familiar voice that, to her seemed like she had not heard for months, muttered,

"Wait, Neela, we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about Ray."

"I just want things to go back to normal, at least to being civil with one another." There was a pause, as Neela tried to think of a come back, not thinking of one she tried to take the easy way out.

"Ray, I can't do this right now, I have to work." Ray pulled her back once more.

"No, let go of me Ray!" her voice became exasperated and anger began to rise up. "I've moved out, and that's it. If you can't get over that, then too bad!" She couldn't look him straight in the eye as she said this, and then there was a pause that lasted for what seemed like eternity.

"Do you hate me that much?" Came Ray's voice through the silence. Her anger was rising up beyond her control.

"YES!" she shouted _"NO, NO, NO, I don't hate you, I like you, god, I think I may even love you!" _Shouted the little voice in her head but she ignored it as he let go of her arm. She stormed out of the room, but not before she saw the pain in his eyes.

She exploded into the admit area of the ER where Abby sat on a stool. Abby saw Neela fuming with anger.

"Bloody Ray" she heard Neela mutter, "Abby do you think there is any way I could change my shifts so I don't have to spend so much time with _him_!" Abby looked confused and shook her head slowly, "No sorry Neela, no can do I'm afraid."

"Fine, whatever, I guess I'll just have to live with it."

* * *

That night Neela sat in Abby's apartment and cried, she cried for the way she had spoken to Ray, she cried for the fact that she didn't hate him, she cried for the feelings that she had for Michael being pushed aside for the ones she had for Ray, and she cried for the fact she had to work with the man she knew she could never have, and she just couldn't handle that. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nada, nought, nothing. :( basically all words in this chapter belong to the writers of ER.

A/N: its another scene setting chapter from me, this is the turning point of the story it's gonna start to get slightly happier from here on out YAY:D

_

* * *

_

_Surgical resident? I am a surgical resident._ The realisation hit Neela in a wave of happiness as she headed back to the ER. As she got out of the lift and seeing Sam and he walked up to her Chuny she couldn't help herself but to mention her good news but to her surprise they didn't seem to be that happy for her, she didn't have much time to ponder this as Ray dashed down the steps, leaping down the last couple. Neela who didn't see this turned to walk away.

"Neela, hold up, I need to talk to you," she turned to look at him and smiled as she told him her news.

"I got it."

"What?" Ray asked, he was trying to break some news himself.

"Surgical residency," she said, beaming.

"Oh, thats good for you, thats really great," he was looking down at the floor trying to sound positive but a hint of urgency was heard in his voice.

"Well try and contain your enthusiasm."

"Listen I need to talk to you," the sense of urgency more apparent as Neela made her way back to the main entrance of the ER.

"Yeah, Luka's paging me.."

"I no, 'cause it's important."

"So is my news but nobody seems to care," Neela said in a disappointed tone

"Neela, listen I..."

" You know it's not like I'm leaving the hospital, I'm going to surgery, you'd think you people would like having me up there."

She entered the ER turning to a heavily pregnant Abby and saying, "Have you seen Luka?" Abby looked at her, concern in her eyes, she slowly said, "there are two men here to see you, from the army." Neela looked at her, "the army?" she repeated her voice was weak.

"I tried to find you," came a sad voice from behind her, Ray hated to see her hurting.

Neela turned to see the officers while Abby and Ray looked at the floor.

* * *

"Dr Rasgotra?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Captain Evans and this is Sergent Marris," he said turning to the man next to him. "Is there some were we can go and talk?" Neela gave both men a a quick glance before asking,

"Can you tell me why your here please?" her voice sounded hard and cold.

"I really think it would be better.."

"Tell me!" Neela cried in a harsh voice as one solitary tear escaped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.

"Ma'am, the secretary of the army would like to express his deepest regret..."

"No wait , there must be some mistake" Neela tried to interrupt but the man just kept going

"...that your husband, captain Michael Gallant was killed in action."

"No, you've got it mixed up. Michael's a doctor not a soldier soldier." Neela said disbelief in her tone.

"He was killed when his truck was hit by a roadside bomb. Again the secretary offers his deepest sympathies, " the man's voice was void of all emotion, it seemed to her that he had been reading these words off a script.

"I'm sorry, I'm working, I can't do this right now." She turned around and walked toward the admit area grabbing some charts and walking away from the two soldiers and her friends. They watched her leave but no one went after her, but they knew were she was headed.

Up On The Roof

Neela was standing staring over the Chicago skyline. As Ray approached the edge of the roof he slowly lifted his hands out of his pockets and leaned against the bar.

"I was just talking to him four days ago. He was complaining about the food and i was complaining about how cold Abby's appartment is, i honestly don't know what else we were talking about." She laughed slightly at the difficulty she was having trying to remember the last conversation she had had with her husband.

"I'm so sorry Neela, I...We all are" Ray added again looking down

Neela kept looking straight ahead, she seemed to be oblivious to the fact that Ray had just spoken, "you know I was probably ordering a latte or watching celebrity poker when he was being blown up by a bomb, just like that he's gone." She could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes but she stopped them from falling.

Walking towards her, he said, "listen if you need anything, um, or you want anything..."

"No Ray, I don't, I don't need you to do anything. I just... I need to go back to work."

She went to walk away but ray grabbed her arm forcing her to look him in the eye.

"No Neela look. You need to go home, you need to take care of things, you need to take care of yourself."

Neela then started to cry hysterically as she shouted " you know what, I don't have a home, I don't have a husband, I don't have anything. All I have is this STUPID hospital," she lifted her hands to her face and tried to cover her tears. When she did that Ray could bear it no longer and went to hug her.

"Just stay the hell away from me!" she shouted and stormed off leaving Ray alone on the solitary roof with his white coat moving in the breeze.


	5. Chapter 5

"Neela? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Neela didn't answer. She wasn't even sure that she knew who had just spoken. She had sat in darkness since Gallant's funeral. She had just sat, her mind completely drained. She couldn't think of anything, anyone.

"Neela? Come on please talk to me, look at me?"

Slowly Neela turned her head to finally acknowledge the fact that a figure sat next to her. Ray sat far enough from her that she felt comfortable with him there. He had sat there with her for days, only getting up to get cups of coffee, to go to the bathroom and to make meals. Unlike Neela who had just ignored all attempts of communication with Ray, he had tried to speak to her on numerous occasions. Each time she had stared straight ahead, not seeing him, not hearing him. It was only then that she had truly registered that he was there, sitting next to her.

"Ray?" she looked at him blankly, "Why are you here? I've been so horrible to you lately."

"Because I care about you," he said simply. She couldn't retaliate, she couldn't tell him to stop, didn't he realise she couldn't deal with that now? She was too tired. Either that or she didn't really want him to stop.

"Have you been here the whole time?" was her feeble response.

"Yes." He said slowly, and then she realised, in horror, that he had seen her just staring into space for days, without even shedding a tear for her dead husband.

"You must think I'm heartless," she said in a whisper, "I haven't even cried once and he's been dead for 3 days."

"I don't think you're heartless Neela, I just think you're trying to cope in your own way." He shuffled closer to her as he said this, adding, "Don't be afraid, you don't have to be strong all the time you know?"

"Ok," she said as the words caught in her throat and she felt the tears threatening to fall. She could no longer fight, she was emotionally exhausted, and she just let go. Tears streamed down face as Ray shuffled even closer to her. She clung to him as she broke down and he just sat there with her head nestled into his shoulder.

He had to be patient with her, she would eventually open up to him but he knew she wasn't ready yet, it would take time. And he just sat holding her in his arms as she wept.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

There is a slight spoiler from season 13 considering Abby and Luka's baby's name but apart from that it's all my original work.

2 months after Gallant died:

Neela sat on her bed in Abby's apartment, packing the last few things into a brown box.

"You ready to become roomies again?" Ray asked, she smiled at the grin plastered across his face as he picked up the last box and headed for the door.

It had only been a matter of time before this happened, Abby moving in with Luka. They couldn't keep running back and forward from each apartment with a baby. Their child was a beautiful baby boy; the perfect combination of his parents. He had Luka's deep, mesmerizing eyes, surrounded by his long curled eyelashes, and his father's enchanting smile, that same smile that Abby had fallen in love with all those years before. He also had Abby's nose and cheekbones, a facial structure many would be in awe of in the years to come. Joseph was already a heart-breaker and he wasn't even a few months old.

Neela sat in the van next to Ray, smiling to herself as he sang along with the radio. She took one more look at Abby's apartment, and realized that she was moving on, that part of her life was now in the past and leaving the apartment was the beginning of something new. She always had the memories. Ray seemed to be a recurring figure in all these memories; some of which were happy and others that occurred when she was at her lowest. But Ray was always there to help her through.

**- Flashback - **

**(or as my dear friend Ella says "Flashcake")**

**Abby's apartment, the day after Neela finds out that Gallant is dead.**

**She hadn't ventured out of the flat since yesterday, not since she had had got back from work and certainly not after watching the video tape Michael had sent her. She had sat staring into space, as she tried to process all the information she had received that day. An overwhelming feeling of guilt drifted over her as she sat in that state. She started to believe that it was her fault Gallant had died. That somehow he had become aware that her feelings for him were fading and that this caused him to not come home to her. If he had come home he would not have died, he would still be here. Was it wrong that in a way, she was glad he had not come back? She didn't want him dead, of course not, but while he was away, she was happier, in a way. She was happier because she was with Ray. **

**-End of Flashback-**

She stepped through the door of her old apartment. It hadn't changed that much really, though it was a lot cleaner than how she had left it.

"I kept my promise," Ray said grinning, seeing the look of confusion on Neela's face, he added, "Remember the night you left, I promised that there would be no more dirty dishes?"

"Ah yes, now I get it, how very witty Barnett," she said in a sarcastic tone. She couldn't help but smile up at him as she said "It's good to be home."

The whole English language seemed to escape Ray when she said this; all he could do was gather her up in a tight embrace with a stupid grin plastered across his face.

**-Flashback- **

**2 Weeks after Gallant's Funeral **

"**I'm not hungry Ray."**

"**You have to eat; you'll make your self ill." Ray said looking at her, concern in his eyes.**

"**Look, you don't have to worry any more, I'll be fine, you can go home now if you want."**

"**What if I don't want to?" There was a pause. If he was honest, he was scared to leave her, he didn't want her to slip back into the state were she didn't register a single soul. The silence was broken by her exasperated voice.**

"**Then stay, but don't force me to eat!"**

"**Fine." He sat next to her on the sofa. She hadn't eaten for days and he was starting to get seriously worried. _She's a doctor she knows the danger of not eating_. He thought.**

**His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a sob, he looked to his left were Neela sat, her hands covering her face. Ray put his arms round her shoulders and let her rest her head against him as she cried, this had become frequent recently: one minute Neela would be sitting quietly, and the next minute, she would be overwhelmed with emotion. Ray always acted in the same way, just as he had the night after Gallant's funeral. **

"**Talk to me." Ray offered. There was pure concern in his eyes when he looked at her now. **

"**I'm trying to help, but you keep pushing me away. You don't have to go through everything on your own. Please just talk to me."**

"**I don't no what to say?" Neela said between sobs. **

"**Urm… Maybe start at the beginning… okay, how did you feel when you found out that he'd died?"**

**That night Neela finally broke the barrier holding all her emotions in. She let go of every inhibition she had had since Michael had died. It felt right somehow, sitting with Ray's arms wrapped around her as she talked to him about everything she had gone through since Michael had gone back to Iraq. She told him that she doubted that Michael wanted to spend the rest of his life with her "Because if he did, why would he have gone back?" **

"**I don't know Neela, but I know he loved you, I saw the way he looked at you," At this she started to sob again. Ray continued to hold her in his arms. **

**-End Flashback- **

Neela walked into her old room and sighed at the sight that greeted her. It was so empty but it felt so right to be there again. A smile then broke across her face as she noticed something lying on he bed. She walked over to it, and picking the shirt up she held it to her face taking in Ray's scent she couldn't believe that he had kept it for her.

"Settling back in okay?" Came a voice from the doorway. She gave him a smile and patted the bed beside her gesturing for him to come and sit with her.

"What would I do without you Ray?"

"I'm sure you'd be okay, Dr Neela can handle anything remember?" he gave her a weak smile, and she sighed. Putting her hands around his middle she brought him closer to her so that his arms rested on her shoulders and her head on his. There they sat for what seemed hours just holding each other. She really was glad to be home.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: i would try and think of something clever and witty to write here but I'm fresh outta of wit, sorry bout that. So i own nothing ER related : (

Dedication: Chapter is dedicated to Kenzie, Ella and Anie coz they are just so lovely and make me laugh. Also to everyone who reviewed, i love you guys coz reviews make Ali a very happy bunny : )

Couple of last things to add: It's nearly the end only two more chapters to go : ( I'm gonna be sad when i finish this coz i wont have anything to do wen I'm stuck at home all day. And this story's all full of

Kodac moments that come with writing ur first fic : )

God I'm getting all sentimental :'( lol

Oh and also this is the chapter when Fluff starts to appear i kinda overloaded in fluff : )

love

xoxoxox

* * *

2months since Neela moved back in with Ray (so to clarify, 4 months since Michael died) 

Ray walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, he was whistling to himself as he sauntered across the appartment. His head suddenly snapped round as he heard a suppressed laugh to his left. "_Shit, i forgot she moved back in, I'm practically naked!" _a red tint developed across his cheeks and he gave her a crooked smile. "You know you want me?" he laughed as he caught her looking at his defined chest. _"god i really do"_ she thought and the reply she gave him still had a tinge of seductiveness in it.

"Dream on Barnett"

"_God i love it when she says my last name like that, her accents so damn sexy!" _Ray's thoughts started running away with himand then he realised he was still practically naked, in front of the girl of his dreams, and if he wasn't quick he would have to go back and take another shower, but this time cold!

He blushed again at this thought. Neela laughed and turned to leave And he went into his room andcollapsed onto the bed_ "God she's beautiful" _was the only thing he could think.

Ray walked into the ER in an unusually bright mood, he was happy because Neela was happy, and when Neela is happy he's happy. "_God we are like an old married couple! You wish Ray..." _He thought.

"Whats got you in such a good mood then?" Pratt asked punching Ray on the arm suggestively.

"Nothing like that!" He Laughed "But it's good to know you all think so highly of me. I'm just happy. Isn't a man allowed to be happy?"

"Barnett, wipe that smile off your face, your starting to scare me?"Morris said as he watched their convosation from the admit desk.

"_Now, the way he says my last name, not quite so sexy" _Ray thought to himself

"Drop dead Morris." Ray smiled.

He tuned to see Neela enter the ER, and he couldn't help but to give her a quick grin, which she returned equally as quickly. Nothing seemed to be able to escape Pratt and Morris who exchanged looks that said _"There's something going on between them, that Barnett's not telling us... "_

"What? What? Tell me. What?" Ray pressured as he noticed the look shared between his colleagues. But again both men gave each other knowing glances, grabbed some charts and walked off.

"Abby? What was that about?"

"Don't ask me, go talk to Pratt." she said irritably, obviously Joseph had not been a perfect gentleman last night, and kept her awake.

Neela stood in the drug lock up trying to get a suture kit off the top shelf. When Ray walked in she was standing on her tip toes, showing some of her hips and stomach as her shirt lifted up slightly as she tried to reach it._ "Seriously, who makes these shelves so high? How am i supposed to reach that!"_ She turned to see who had entered; and caught the look of amusement visible on his face.

"Would you like some help?" Ray offered as he stood behind her and lent over her to get the kit off of the shelf. He didn't mean to but as he lent over her their bodies touched, even if only for a second it caused both of them to blush horribly

"_Oh god, not again, why does she have to do this to me, i can't seem to keep my body under control when I'm around her."_

"_Gosh, i feel like a school girl again" _Neela thought,.as she giggled.

"Thanks" she said as he handed her the kit. Ray was pushed up against the wall trying to give her as much space as possible to get out, the drug lock up was seriously small. All Neela could think about was how much she wanted to be on that body. And they stood for what seemed like a life time just standing staring at each other but when Neela came to her senses, she moved so suddenly it caused Ray to jump slightly.

"Right, back to work," Neela said

"Yes, Work, right, work." Ray stuttered, to which Neela just laughed and walked out of the drug lockup.

"_How can she drive me so crazy? It seems i can't even get my tongue to work any more!" _Ray thought. As he turned to leave, Pratt walked passed and gave him another one of _those _looks.

"I wish everyone would stop doing that!" Ray called after him

"I don't no what your talking about Barnett." Pratt shouted back and a small smile lingered on his lips.

Ray just walked away muttering " God, Pratt thinks he's so funny... such a funny man... he's not funny..."

"1st sign of madness."

"Sorry, what?" Ray started, seeming stunned as his muttering had been interrupted.

"Talking to yourself!" Neela laughed as he looked so confused_ "he looks so cute when he's confused, but then again, he's just generally cute!" _Neela's laugh seemed to be contagious because Ray soon started to laugh as well.

Neela wanted what Abby had: a beautiful baby and a husband who adored her. She knew Abby had been through a lot in her life and she was glad that her friend had finally found someone that she could depend on. Abby and Luka had gathered their family and closest friends in a small church, the setting could not have been more perfect. Abby had looked stunning as she walked down the aisle, her hair was teased into loose curls and her simple dress complimented her figure immensely. The look of pure joy on Luka's face when he saw her was priceless. Remembering their beautiful yet simple ceremony, Neela couldn't help but feel she had missed out, although she knew that she had told Michael that she didn't mind not having a traditional wedding. She had loved him and that was enough. But was it really? Maybe Abby had been right... she had never really known Michael, not like she knew Ray.

"Abby? Can i talk to you for a minute?"

"It seems that everybody wants to talk to Abby today." Abby snapped

"Oh, it's fine, I'll go and talk to...umm...someone else."

"No wait Neela, I'm sorry. Joseph isn't sleeping and Kovac seems to be able to sleep like the dead."

"_Oh gosh she must be pissed off, if she's calling her husband by his surname" _Neela thought.

"So, anyway, what did you want to talk to me about?" Abby continued

"well... erm... well..."

"Good grief, spit it out woman!"

Neela took a deep breath, shut her eyes and said something so quickly that it took Abby a couple of seconds to decipher what she had said.

"So, you think you have feelings for Ray?"

"umm hmm" Neela said relieved to finally have it off her chest. "What can i do Abby?"

"Tell him." was her friends simple answer. "If you like him that much then you should tell him how you feel."

"But is it too soon after Michael?"

"Look Neela, you can't help who you fall for, if you love him, tell him."

"Right, if i love him, tell him, sounds simple enough. Thanks Abby" Neela gave her friend a quick hug and then turned to walk away.

"Oh and Neela" She turned her head to look at Abby again, " Good luck."

"_I think I'll need it. If i love him tell him, if i love him tell him." _the words echoed through Neela's head and again she took a deep breath in and started towards curtain 4.

-Meanwhile-

"Ray? Can i talk to you for a sec?"

"Fine but only if you explain the looks you've been giving me all day."

Pratt laughed "You and Neela..."

"What about me and Neela?"

"I can see the way you two look at each other."

"_Oh god he's going to thump me, Michael was his best friend and here i am being obvious about my feeling towards Neela, he's going to punch me for sure."_

"What?" Ray stammered trying to sound nonchalant about his reaction.

"I can see you like Neela, Ray; there is no point denying it." Ray couldn't help but tense up, ready to be punched. But nothing came.

"I just wanted to say, look after her. She deserves to be happy and I see the way she looks at you; I can tell she cares about you." As Pratt finished, Ray looked at him in astonishment and gulped.

"Thanks man. But I still don't know what your talking about." Ray smiled to himself as he walked away form a now frowning Pratt.

"she cares about me..." he felt that his heart was about to explode because it was beating so fast.

* * *

Reading back over this chapter i noticed they all seem to be laughing a lot! but i couldn't think of another word for laugh except chuckle but i don't think Ray would chuckle lol. : ) 

And i put in about Luka and Abby's wedding to make Ella happy coz i no she would have had a fit if i had not included some "Luby cuteness"

Love to all of you

xoxoxoxo


	8. Chapter 8

I felt so English writing this chapter considering i was actually drinking tea as i did it lol. There are a couple of lines in this chapter that sound so English it makes me laugh, true that's not hard, but just thought I'd prepare you. :)

and i just though i should tell you that maybe u might want to re-read the end of chapter 1 to get the full effect of this chapter.

Love to every1

xoxoxoxoxxo

* * *

"Hey, Neela sorry I'm late, Pratt was talking to me. " Ray said as he ran up behind his room mate.

"That's k," she said in a rather distant voice, she had been thinking about what Abby had said earlier.

"_Just tell him. How hard is it to say "I love you Ray." Oh god, its the hardest thing in the world"_

Sometimes she hated to admit it but she really did care for Ray, more than anyone.

"You ok?" a rather concerned Ray asked.

"Yeah fine, let's go home," she said as she took his hand in hers.

"_Funny,"_ thought Ray, "S_he's never done that before!"_

"Actually, I have a better idea, how about we have a night out?" he said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. Neela just took one look at him and knew that she couldn't protest, - she would just be fighting a loosing battle, what would be the point?

* * *

"Were are we going Ray?"

"It's a surprise!"

"But I just want to go home, take me home please!" she whined.

"Too late now, we're already here." He had pulled up in the car park of a small bar in the middle of no-where. "Come on I swear you'll have fun, now just get out of the van!" He said in a stern but jokey voice as he flashed her a smile.

They walked in just in the middle of a man, _quite a camp man,_ Neela had to admit, who was singing a rendition of Abba's "Dancing Queen" on a stage set up next to the bar. Just at that moment Neela realised knew what Ray had in store for her…

"No Ray, I'm not doing it, you can't make me!" She cried.

Ray grinned at her and ordered a couple of drinks.

"Alcohol will make _everything_ seem much better!" he said and gave her a wink. She just enjoyed his company, just being with him made everything feel much better. He was right though, alcohol would dull the feeling of embarrassment!

"Come on! It will be fine I promise!" Ray encouraged her, whilst simultaneously dragging Neela towards the stage. He knew she was very reluctant as they had spent the last half hour watching people being booed of the stage and with each boo Neela had flinched taking another swig of her beer, but he also knew that this was just what she needed to take her mind off things.

The song that appeared on the screen was not the one that he had picked, but Ray decided that it would have to do because he knew for sure that Neela wouldn't get up on that stage ever again, at least not in this lifetime! Ray was about to go and sit down again when Neela grabbed his arm.

"Please sing with me, I won't be nearly as nervous if you're here with me!" Ray looked at her, seeing pure dread in her eyes.

"Ok" he said beaming at her, then he faced the audience and announced, "this song is called "You Give Me Fever" and is dedicated to the lovely lady beside me."

Neela smiled, lost her footing and fell forward just to be caught by Ray; a warm feeling flowed through her as she landed in Ray's arms.

"Whoa, maybe I shouldn't have bought you that much alcohol!" He laughed.

"I'll be fine Ray, let's just get this over with!" She responded.

"Right you heard the lady," he said and Neela noticed that having been on stage so many times, he had a way with the crowd. She had never made it to one of his gigs and she deeply regretted it now that she was about to hear him sing.

Ray grabbed two microphones and started to sing never taking his eyes off Neela.

_Never know how much I love you_

_Never know how much I care_

_When you put your arms around me_

_I give you fever that's so hard to bare_

_You give me fever_

_When you kiss me_

_Fever when you hold me tight_

_Fever_

_In the morning_

_Fever all through the night_

She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a spark between Ray and her that night as he sang love songs to her. She was suddenly feeling a warmth inside of her that she hadn't felt since Michael. She had felt so empty, so alone, until Ray had helped her pick up the shattered pieces of her life. She just watched Ray, never noticing she wasn't actually singing.

"Thanks for the back up!" Ray grinned, "You're the one who was meant to be singing!"

"Sorry I just thought you would sound better than me," she laughed, "but it did cheer me up."

"Want another drink?"

"Go on then, and Ray? Thanks." She added.

As Ray left her to go to the bar she slumped back in her seat. A man approached her.

"Can I buy you a drink sweet heart?"

"No thanks, my friend's just gone to get me one."

"Come on darling, just one drink…"

"I said no! " Neela nearly spat the words out.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? She said she wasn't interested" Ray shouted as he returned with the drinks.

"Ray, just leave it."

"Yeah listen to your girl!"

"One, I don't own her so she's not MY girl. And two, I think you should leave because you're upsetting my friend." Ray was trying to keep as level headed as possible but he was finding it terribly hard.

"If I'm leaving, I'm leaving with her!" was the man's slimy reply, and at that Ray had had enough. He clenched his fists and punched the man in the nose.

"Ray!" Neela cried out. That was the worst time to call his name because as he turned around he got a face full of fist.

"Shit! That hurt!" Ray said as he wiped the blood from his face, "Neela would you mind waiting in the van for me? I'll only be a minute." He gave her a smile and a wink and she obeyed.

"I didn't want to fight you in front of my friend but now you're all mine!" he laughed punching the man again. But his smile soon faded away as two other burly men stood up from a table and started to walk over to him.

"_FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"_ thought a now not-so-cocky Ray.

One of the man punched Ray hard, and he hit the floor with a thud.

Black.

* * *

When he woke he was in unfamiliar surroundings, a man towered above him, and Ray doubled over as the man kicked him over and over again. The pain was too much to bear and Ray let out a cry of utter agony.

"Now you're all mine" was the last thing Ray heard.

Then everything went.

Black.

_Ray had been an awfully long time_, Neela thought. She was starting to get worried. She walked back in to the bar.

"Hi sorry, you haven't seen my friend any were have you? He may have been punching some burly man…" she smiled to herself at the thought of Ray defending her honour.

"I didn't see him throwing any punches," said the bartender cautiously, "You might want to check round the back, but be careful you don't want to get on the wrong side of those men." He added slowly.

Her heart filled with dread, the bar tender had said "men." There had only been one man. What did he mean?

She looked around the back of the bar; all she saw was a couple of garbage bags and a skip. But then she heard a moan. She ran towards the sound, and there he was. Ray, sprawled out on the floor.

"You look terrible!" Neela said trying to keep her voice cheery.

"Thanks." Ray gave her a weak smile, he was struggling to keep his eyes open and then he could bear it no longer as exhaustion filled his entire body, he closed his eyes and saw her no more.

"Ray? Ray? Can you hear me? Open your eyes, please!" Neela pleaded. She was in shock all she could do was sit and stare at his motionless body. She rested her head on his chest and whispered, "Please, don't leave me."

The tears kept falling, sliding down her cheeks.

"_Don't leave me." _


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue 

A man and woman stood in the doorway of an apartment, arms around each other. They walked into the apartment and took a seat on the sofa. The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders once more, and she leaned up against him.

"Thanks" stated the man as he let out a sigh.

Walking still seemed to take a lot of effort and he couldn't go very far without feeling tired.

"You're very welcome, roomie." The woman said as she lifted her head, planning to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek, the man bent his head, so that her kiss landed on his lips. What Neela had intended on being a tender, gentle show of affection, turned into something _quite_ different. That kiss was full of passion and desire.

Neela and Ray sat together hand in hand smiles plastered across their faces, what had taken them a long time to realise had finally happened and they didn't want to let go.

"I'm glad you didn't leave, well for good any way," he added kissing the top of her head.

"I could say the same to you." she smiled and leant her head against his chest, she was blissfully happy.

**THE END **

**So there you have it, fini, hope you liked it and i didn't disappoint any one too much.**

**I just have to say, that i know i could have gone into detail about Ray in the the hospital but: 1. i don't really have enough medical knowledge to write convincingly (not sure if thats spelt right S) and 2. everyone does the whole Neela telling him how she feels while he lies in a hospital bed. So i wanted to be a bit different but not drastically different.**

**And I'm now sad because it's over and i enjoyed writing this so much. :) **

**Thank you and good night (sorry i couldn't resist)**


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